Guess Who.

Well. 

Hi guys.

It's me.

Savannah Murdock.

I used the name "Artistic Athlete" because Im a dancer, 

and dancers are known as 

artistic athletes.

…

kind of cheesy.

kind of dumb.

but I thought it fit me pretty well.

Anyways.

Thanks for reading my blog. 

Hope you liked it.  

Its All About the Details

I love little details. 

I love when people tell stories and they never forget to show a funny facial expression or add a funny side comment, 

because its the little things that makes a story great.

I have lots and lots of good stories to tell, but I also have a lot of details that come along with them. 

heres a few you may enjoy:

 I remember…

when we were roasting hot dogs in the fort we made up in the mountains. 
I had already made mine and you were in the process 
of getting your hot dog on the bun. 
(you put the  hot dog on horizontally because you're an idiot, so trying to get the hot dog off the stick was a real struggle.) 

Anyways, in your endeavor to get your hot dog on your bun,

 you burnt yourself and jerked your hand back with 
quite a bit of force. 

Meanwhile, i was pulling my hot dog up to take a bite as you burned yourself,
 and when you threw your hand back, you hit my hand. 
After looking down and realizing that my hot dog was missing,

 we couldn't contain our laughter. 

I remember...

when we blew up a baby raft so we could go float in the middle of silver lake and fish for a while. 

I also remember how you knew there was a hole in it but decided it was a good idea anyways

 because you brought a hand pump to keep us afloat! 

...

Quite the experience. 


I remember...

when you tried to take me on a picnic for my birthday this summer. You had a cute place in mind, but it was close to forty five minutes away, but the spot was important so we made the drive. When we got up there… there was a huge sign that said 

"No Picnicing Allowed" 

and we couldn't stop laughing. 

(But we decided to anyways so we hid in the trees and ate our food on a log)


I remember...

when my dad bought us tickets to the Bees 

game this summer.

 We were playing a team from Vegas and we were excited to go. When we got up there… we realized that

we were playing Vegas IN Vegas, 

and my Dad wasted his money on tickets we couldn't use. 


 I remember... 

the butterflies I felt when you first held my hand.

 We were watching Catching Fire in theaters and I could feel how nervous you were from my seat. 

(it was cute)

…

I love the details of my life. 

I really do.

Her Love was a Plane

BLACK OUT POETRY

"One man was devoted to a woman because he believed her love was a plane he planned to fly."

I'll Bet You Ten Dollars

My heart beats. 

It beats in such a beautiful melody that I love so much.

Sometimes I feel as though when it beats, all my poor heart is trying to do is tell me something. 

Its trying to tell me that I'm worth it and 

that I'm one of few people on this earth that are lucky enough to have a companion inside of them that actually does beat. 

It’s trying to tell me to stop listening to my controlling and stubborn mind. 

...Ill bet you ten dollars that if my heart wasn't bound forever inside my chest by the cage of my bony ribs.. 

it would walk right up to my brain and beat the crap out of it. 

...I try not to favor my mind over my heart but my mind is so much louder and it has such strong opinions that it’s hard to heed to the soft voice of my tender heart.

But regardless of which organ I listen to more,

 My heart still beats. 

 My heart still loves. 

 My heart still speaks.

And Im thankful for that

I Fell in Love with You and Nature

I used to like nature

That was until this summer

This summer we spent 86% of our time outdoors

We fell in love with each other

We fell in love with nature

I fell in love with the exquiste trees and the romantic rainstorms

because watching the rain slide down the crevice near your eyes and 

slip off the edge of your cheek bones is just one of 

those details i will never forget

I fell in love with the sunshine and the warmth i felt while laying in your arms

because no matter how good i felt alone, it never compared to how i felt

when we were one

I fell in love with your creativity and your perfect smile

because it was inspiring too see you be you, and nothing makes 

me happier than your smile

I fell in love with the sunset and the starry night sky

because when the sun would set and the warmth it brought to the earth was gone, 

all we had was each other

I fell in love with fast driving and the slow kissing

because you always had time to make things romantic 

and i liked that

a lot 

I fell in love with the water, 

whether in a stream or lake

just because 

I fell in love with our long days but our too short of nights

because it got to the point where curfew 

seemed to come sooner and sooner 

I fell in love with your laugh and your sense of adventure

because although things didn't always work out, 

we never had anything less 

than an amazing time

I used to like nature

that was until this summer

I fell in love with you

I fell in love with nature

I fell in love with you

Don't Blame Death for your Fear of Living.

We are all gonna die.

Death is inevitable.

It creeps upon us all like the tide creeps on to the sand. Slowly, but surely in comes, and the time and place it will arrive is always unpredictable. 

Death is unannounced and usually uninvited.

Death is the only attribute that we all share as a human race.

No one can stop it from coming and its something that most of us fear.

We fear the unknown.

And death is apart of the unknown.

But I for one appreciate death.

Death is a motivation to live life. 

Without death, what would be the point of living?

What is a beginning without its end?

Everything worth caring about in life comes to an end and that is why it has value.

We value the things we will soon lose.

I value life because it doesn’t last forever.

I value each breath because at some point, I will take my last.

But maybe what we fear isn’t really death.

Maybe we really fear life.

We fear not doing all we hoped for in life and we fear the idea that when death looks us in the face we wont be ready.

Don't blame death for your fear of living. 

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any moment.” – Mark Twain

My true flesh. My true feelings. My true insecurities.

My true flesh. My true feelings. My true insecurities.

1.)  I don’t like my nose. I never have, and I feel like I never will. It looks weird from my profile and I dont like it. 

2.) Sometimes I feel like I'm too skinny, and then the very next day I feel like I look fat. I don’t know, I'm sure every girl feels that way. But just in case they don’t, I do. 

3.) My feet are too big. And they aren’t flexible enough. They are boney and awkward. 

4.) My veins stick out too much. Especially on my hands. 

5.) Sometimes I feel too tall, and other times I feel too short. 

6.)  My laugh is obnoxious and I wish it was cuter

7.) My voice is so annoying. Like, my sincere apologies for anyone that talks to me.

8.) My legs don’t straighten all the way, or at least it looks that way. And with my sport, that’s a problem

9.) I'm not the smartest person in class and I'm very much aware of it

10.) My hair isn't thick enough and I wish it was prettier

My true flesh. My true feelings. My true insecurities.

Please, I am not afraid of numbers

I am afraid of nothing.

Wait that was a lie; I'm afraid of lies. I'm afraid of being lied too and I'm afraid of lying to the ones I love.

Love. I'm afraid of losing him and I'm afraid of not being everything he deserves.

Losing. I'm afraid of working so hard for the things I care about just to lose them in the end.

End. I'm afraid of the end. I don’t want to die, and maybe that’s just because I've never experienced it.

Experience. I'm afraid that I wont reach my potential because I chose a wrong choice and the opportunity for experience will be gone.

Choices. I'm afraid of choices because every choice you make determines your future and I don’t want to make a mistake.

Mistakes. I'm afraid of my mistakes because I make them over and over and my imperfections are more numerous than they should be.

Numbers. Maybe numbers scare me too. Why don’t they end? They have to end.

I am afraid. I’m afraid of pretty much everything and anything.

I am afraid. But I am also hopeful.

I'm hopeful that I wont be lied to and that if I love him enough he will stay around. I'm hopeful that I can come out on top if I work hard enough and that even though the end will come, it will be glorious. I'm hopeful that I can become the best me with any experience that comes my way. I'm hopeful that I will make the right choices and that mistakes, although inevitable, can turn out for the best. 

And numbers, please, I'm not afraid of numbers. 

Anti Bucket List

Anti bucket list

* I hope I never have to only eat avocados for morning, lunch and dinner

* I hope I never have to run for President of the United States

* I hope I never have to sleep in a bed full of spiders  

* I hope I never have to swallow a sock, that would be gross 

* I hope I never have to bungee jump without a bungee cord… then again.. that wouldn't really be bungee jumping now would it. That’s just jumping to my death. REWRITE: I hope I never have to jump to my death.

* I hope I never have to sing an opera song in public

* I hope I never have to call my parents to bail me out of jail

* I hope I never have to jump into a pool of snakes. No way. Not my thing.

* I hope I never have to experience real heart break...

* I hope I never have to clean up throw up... (my kids better know that because that’s just unacceptable)

* I hope I never have to freeze to death

* I hope I never have to burn to death

… can I just die at room temperature? Thanks.

* I hope I never have to swim with sharks

* I hope I never break my femur (OW!)

* I hope I never get lost on some island and never find my way back to society ever again ( lucky for me ive been to like, Montana and that’s it. Soooo. Im pretty solid on that one.) 

How to be someone I don't like

How to be a someone I don’t like:

1.) DRIVE SLOW

2.) Scream when you see your girl friends you saw last period

3.) Take selfies and then post them on instagram with some deep quote that has absolutely nothing to do with your picture

4) Don’t turn right at the stop light next to the school when its red. (BECAUSE YOU FREAKING CAN! …but if you want to be someone I don’t like… please.. by all means.. don’t turn.)

5.) Don’t pay attention to the football game when youre in the student section

6.) Be mean to kids with disabilities

7.) Think youre "too cool" for seminary

8.) Be gorgeous all the time ( my jealousy for you girls on a scale from 1-10 is definitely 11 )                                                        (So. Please be uglier. Thanks.) 

9.) disrespect you parents

10.) push me around in the hall like im some kind of sophomore. GOSH DANG YOU IM A SENIOR. 

Someone had to say it...

Someone had to say it…

To the ladies:

Im sorry girls but spray tans are ugly.

And acting dumb was never cute.

Oh. And your selfies make me feel uncomfortable so stop posting them with some deep quote about why you should smile. …. Its weird.

To the boys:

NEWS FLASH: Girls actually don’t find it attractive when you act like a tool (I know. Who would have guessed?)

To the teachers:

If you're the kind of teacher that doesn't let you put your head down in class… you can bet your on my bad side.  Don’t blame me for sleeping… blame yourself for being boring.

To the wanna be hipsters:

Just because you're wearing a beanie next to brick wall doesn't make you hipster. But good try though.

To those who are reading this post and hating it:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU JUST WASTED YOUR TIME

Wow im hilarious. 

#different post (level:pathetic)

What I wish was different…

I wish baseball was more entertaining on TV..

Pepsi products were banned,

And beef jerky was cheaper

I wish I was better at saving money..

My neighbors didn't scare me as much,

and weekends were longer

I wish I gossiped less

Money came easier

And I could actually stay awake in Astronomy (Dream on)

If things were different my hair would be thicker

and my brain would be smarter

ps.

...The sad thing about this list is my beef jerky line is the thing that inspired me...

                                                  I love jerky... 

Please, Be my Brick

Basic

Reliable

Important

Certain

Kempt

Stable

Be my brick.

Be basic. I don't expect much, just treat me like you want me. 

Be reliable: because regardless if you asked for it, I trust you.

Know you're Important: especially to me. 

Be certain: be certain of how you feel because i'm certain about how i feel

Be kempt: take care of yourself, because i look at you a lot (lol)

Be stable: because i fall for you everyday, and i need someone stable to catch me 

Please, Be my Brick. 

Grand Theft Poetry

I don’t want to be here

It looks the same as it did back then

You  have forgotten me

I wish you were still sitting here

Screaming for help that was impossible to give

Regret was evident

It ceases to be the reality of my life

Alive in the way the ocean is alive

It still hurts

Got a gun?

The strangest concern is being taken advantage of

For as many looks as you have lives

But my hero is free

And the rest lay helpless

Examine carefully and determine what it means to you

To err is to be human

And it seems to make conditions bearable

sweet dreams.

I used to enjoy sleeping.

I used to lie down at night and dream. I dreamed wonderful dreams. Dreams that made me believe in love and gave me hope that there was someone for everyone. I dreamed of this “perfect boy”. …All girls know who im talking about.. we all imagine him the same way. Ya know like...

Super hot.

Extremely romantic.

Athletic.

Funny.

Adventurous.

well I hate to tell you ladies but ...……. He really does exist.

… but I feel bad telling you that

Wanna know why?

… because I found him.

But don’t get too excited because… I kind of jumped on that pretty quickly…

Now I know I know… you all hate me now because I didnt tell any of you he existed before I went after him. But I couldn't risk it. I need him.

Soooo. This is awkward. But because hes taken… ill just let you ladies live vicariously through me.

So let me tell you about him.

Hes so sweet. Kind of like we all imagined; but better. He opens my doors, and he tells me im pretty. (don’t usually believe that one, but what girl genuinely does?) He hugs me when im sad and surprises me with little things to make me happy. He sends me long, romantic text messages at night, but never misses an opportunity to make a romantic gesture during the day. He makes me feel special, and reminds me that im important to him. He knows all my likes and dislikes and respects me and my lifestyle. He gives me butterflies by doing absolutely nothing, and he pushes me out of my comfort zone on the daily. He’s a family kind of guy and makes them a priority. .Hes protective, but more of the “behind the scenes” kind of protective. (which I love). He just makes me happy and makes leaving him hard. .. And I hate to tell you guys but… he told me he loves me. (Now don’t get jealous…. Remember.. youre living through me.) …But ya know, he doesn’t just say it like the typical high school boy would say it. …he means it. I can feel it…

I really didn’t know it was possible. I had been dreaming about him for so long...It was unexpected really… but it was worth the fall.

He exists.

The perfect boy exists.

…And now, I never sleep. Not because I don’t want too… but because id rather be awake than asleep.  Id rather be up talking to him or perhaps being with him, or even just thinking about him. Because sleeping is only for the lonely dreamers who wish to have a better reality. So they close their eyes and they dream.  They dream for something that is already taken.

…my apologies.

But im in love with him.

I know I am… because my reality is finally better than my dreams.

So for the rest of you ladies who still dream of him. Let me just tell you… youre going to have sweet dreams tonight. 

theme: impossible, greatness

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given, than to explore the power they’ve been given to change it. Impossible is not a fact. Its an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

I believe that man is capable of everything they think they are not capable of.

I believe that man was created to be great.

I believe that we are great.

It’s not impossible for us imperfect beings to be all that we were created to become, 

because nothing is impossible; impossible is nothing.

The human race was born to do “impossible things” such as achieve greatness so lets continue to do what we’ve always done; lets be great.

i like my choices

"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things"

This quote.
So beautiful. So simple. So right.

I believe this to applicable in my life. Im in love. And Im in no business of denying myself that simple pleasure.

I love love.
I love that when you love someone you give them your complete self.
I love that when you love you give that person complete power to break your heart.
I love that when you love... you know that they possibly wont catch you if you trip but you fall anyways because your heart cant help itself.

Love is beautiful. 

“You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.” 

In pasty wrapping...

I feel my breath. I feel the cool tingling sensation on my teeth as I inhale, and the slight raise in temperature my breath achieves as I exhale.

I feel the pounding of my heart beat against my chest day in and day out. For some reason that pounding is a sign that I am still living.

I feel butterflies in my stomach when he enters the room or gives me "that look". You'd think that those butterflies would have fluttered out of my system by now but they're trapped in between my rib cages and there is no escape. 

I feel pain. I feel it when he leaves or when he hurts. It's as if our hearts are one and with every pull and rip that he comes across... the damage is done to me as well.

I feel strange... I feel strange knowing that I am living... 

Why am I living..

How am I living..

All I am is 206 bones connected by strings... random organs compiled in my mid section... and lots of blood. I'm held together by this weird pasty wrapping of skin. Oh. And I have some mushy object in my head that.. for some reason... does so much. 

How can a package of blood, bones and organs feel so much? How come this combination of items makes me human? It is the strangest thing. 

But it makes me human. 

I know I'm human because I feel. 

I know I'm human because I have all the right ingredients.

I know. It's strange... but I guess I'm human. 

Kind of strange...

Isn't it strange to think that you are the only you that ever has been and ever will be?
No one will ever look exactly like me.
No one will ever talk exactly like me.
No one will ever view the world exactly like me...
No one will ever think exactly like me
...or walk exactly like me or even...
Influence the world exactly like me...

I almost think of that as quite the responsibility.
Like... I only have a short lifetime to leave a mark on the world because no one else can do it for me.
I've been given the opportunity to be me, and no one else has been given that chance...
It's just me.
I'm the only person that can live my life to its fullest potential...
No one can make me the best me... but me.

Wow. This is deep.
BUT SERIOUSLY.

You are the only you that will ever be so why not make sure you're being the real you.
Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out??
You really CANT fit in because everyone is different.
So be proud of that!
Do not be ashamed of your different values or different looks or different taste in music.

You will never be someone else so stop trying to be. 

Leave your mark on the world...because no one else can do it but you.

love/hate relationship

A crayon is basically just a stick of wax that is colorful.
Is it really that important??

To adults... No.
To a child... Yes.

But what about to me? I am certainly not a child,,, but I'm definitely happy to say I am not an adult.

Well, than I guess I get to choose.

Is a colorful stick of wax important to me.......... Yes.
It is important to me because that was an easy escape for me a child.
Pulling out the coloring books and the crayon box was my favorite thing to do in my spare time (which was all of the time... because I was a child. )
I sometimes wish I could go back to those days ya know? When life was care free and easy. I never had to worry about school or boys or life in general. I lived life everyday happy and stress free because I didn't really have a life. All I ever really cared about were my Webkins account and buying the newest "Littlest Pet Shop" animals.

Hm. I dont really know.
I've enjoyed growing up. But its kind of crazy to think that soon... I won't be "growing up" anymore. I'll just be "getting older" because I already did my due time of "growing up."

Ugh. It is such a love/hate relationship ya know?

well anyways. The fact that a crayon box made me think this deep is weird sooo. bye.

Please, Judge me

I live in a generation where we have to create blogs with fake names so that we can hide our true identity because our peers are too judgmental of our actual selves and society has crushed our confidence to the extent where this is the only place where we feel comfortable in expressing ourselves; in secret.

So in reality, what should I write about? Should I write what I think you want to hear or should I write about how I actually feel? Because at this point I'm not sure if what I have to say is important enough for someone like you to read.

...but then again.
I don't care.

I don't care what you think because you don't know who I am and I cannot be judged for something that is apart of the unknown. 

So here I go. If you must know, I'm a girl.
I'm a girl who feels fairly confident in myself, yet has many insecurities that have come with time.
I hate sea food, for obvious reasons of course. Sea food is gross.
I think that love is beautiful and personally believe that there is someone for everyone. (A hopeless romantic, I know. Typical girl.)
I hate people who are mean to their parents and I don't understand why people move out early.
I have many fears in life, but a main fear for me is growing up.
Unlike most teenagers I actually enjoy my life and I enjoy high school. (Weird, I know.)


Well there you have it, that's me. I'm sorry if this blog wasn't all you hoped for, but in reality, I didn't write this blog for you. I wrote it for me.
Don't like that idea? Please, judge me.