Sunday, October 26, 2014

Please, I am not afraid of numbers

I am afraid of nothing.

Wait that was a lie; I'm afraid of lies. I'm afraid of being lied too and I'm afraid of lying to the ones I love.

Love. I'm afraid of losing him and I'm afraid of not being everything he deserves.

Losing. I'm afraid of working so hard for the things I care about just to lose them in the end.

End. I'm afraid of the end. I don’t want to die, and maybe that’s just because I've never experienced it.

Experience. I'm afraid that I wont reach my potential because I chose a wrong choice and the opportunity for experience will be gone.

Choices. I'm afraid of choices because every choice you make determines your future and I don’t want to make a mistake.

Mistakes. I'm afraid of my mistakes because I make them over and over and my imperfections are more numerous than they should be.

Numbers. Maybe numbers scare me too. Why don’t they end? They have to end.

I am afraid. I’m afraid of pretty much everything and anything.

I am afraid. But I am also hopeful.


I'm hopeful that I wont be lied to and that if I love him enough he will stay around. I'm hopeful that I can come out on top if I work hard enough and that even though the end will come, it will be glorious. I'm hopeful that I can become the best me with any experience that comes my way. I'm hopeful that I will make the right choices and that mistakes, although inevitable, can turn out for the best. 
And numbers, please, I'm not afraid of numbers. 

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